Keeping the Dog
When a relationship ends, we have a lot of clean up to do. We may be living with that person. We could have shared bank accounts and shared debt. Let’s not forget about all of those emotions that go along with a breakup or divorce.
Amongst all of this chaos, we need to remember to look outside of ourselves and look out for our babies…. In this case I am talking about fur-babies.
You may have loved Fido for years together or perhaps, you only knew fluffy for a brief time before your romance ended. No matter how much you love them, the law only sees your darling pet as a thing. I agree, it feels totally wrong. You know full well that they are a member of your family with personality quirks and capable of loving you deeply. The law refers to them as chattel. They are another suitcase to the court system. They are going to look at owner records and seek proof of maintenance just like with the family minivan. Who loves your pet more will not be a consideration.
What this means is that you and your (former) significant other will have to settle this conflict like the good people your dog sees you as. We know that some people will use their kids as leverage in order to hurt their partner. This causes long-term damage to the children developmentally and to their relationship to both parents. You will need to treat your pets the way you would kids. Ask yourselves “What is the best thing for Rover?”
Stress is contagious. Every member of the family is going to feel it during the upheaval from a failed relationship. The best approach is to minimize it for you and for them by communicating clearly and showing mutual respect for one another and fluffy.
1: Be honest with yourself and your partner.
Who has the better bond? Who loved to take them on walks? Which person truly got the most satisfaction from your pet? Animals have favorites too! Does the cat always curl up on you or your partner?
2: Who did take them to all of their vet appointments and clean up after them?
Being a pet owner is a lot of work. Some are better than others. Keep that in mind. Do what is best for your pet and for you. If you are going through some serious transitional difficulties, it might not be the best time to have a pet.
3: Can you afford your pet alone?
Some animals eat a lot of food. They have big vet bills (especially older pets). You are not going to get child support. Make sure you can afford your pet if you get custody.
4: Communicate!
Sometimes there can be shared custody. Maybe no one has to lose them forever.
1: Be honest with yourself and your partner.
2: Who did take them to all of their vet appointments and clean up after them?
3: Can you afford your pet alone?
4: Communicate!
Treat your fur-babies the way they deserve. They love you unconditionally. You are capable of doing the same for them. You may have to grieve for this change in your life too.
What about you?
Just like the end of your relationship, losing your pet can cause a lot of feelings to come to the surface. Make sure to take care of yourself. Look at our grief and relationship tips so that you can take care of yourself as you do your pet.