Buying habits can reflect being unhappy
Let me know if this sounds familiar:
You have noticed that you are spending more and more time looking at shopping sites at work or on your phone when you are home. You look for deals on a regular basis over the course of the day. You are getting to be very familiar with the local delivery drivers and you can almost always count on their being something on your doorstep or in your mailbox. The items are not always expensive, but there is definitely a steady pattern of expenses from it in your bank account.
I’m not talking about buying necessities, especially if you live someplace where it’s difficult to get goods another way. I’m talking about getting stuff for the sake of stuff.
Research has noted two constants from habitual buying:
it can give us something to look forward to
it provides a short-term boost to our perceived happiness.
This pattern is a sign of a person unconsciously looking to fill up an emotional empty spot inside themselves.
Some emotional need is not being met. What we have seen is people who are depressed will often make it a habit to chase things for this boost. The problem is that we eventually get used to the novelty of new. Let’s say that I finally complete my collection of Golden Girls Action Figures? What now? Do I move on to the Incredibles?
We might need to take a hard look at these buying habits and see what they are really costing us. How many hours do we spend picking them out? Are we looking for something in particular or just mindlessly scrolling looking for something to catch our eyes? What if we had spent that time developing relationships with family, friends, significant others, or seeking our purpose?
There can be a satisfaction in collecting. But it helps to have a purpose.
One of the great joys is connecting to the communities attached to it. If I collect baseball cards, comics or classic cars, there is a community that I can connect to who shares my love and fascination. I can enrich the experience of these items. I can imbue them with the memories of sharing that time with others. The happiness is based on the connection, not necessarily on the item itself.
If you notice these habits in yourself or someone in your life, it’s a good idea to pause and look at why. It might be that you have been feeling some symptoms of depression or anxiety. Being honest about the reasons for your buying habits is very important. Figuring out the source of that feeling can lead to long-lasting, healthy change.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Reaching out to those who support us is a good first step. We might need to be that person for someone else as well. Getting that outside perspective can be key in making healthy decisions. If you look at the purpose of these articles, it’s to highlight a behavior that could be a sign of internal pain.