Relationship Red Flags? Nope, you’re being exposed to radiation
We’ve all heard the term “red flag” to describe what’s going on in a situation, right?
“He’s driving a wedge between me and my friends.”
“She shares all of our relationship stuff with her friends in group chat…ALL of it.”
These are signs of someone who has completely developed their relationship skillset. In fact, they can often be signs of something more significant psychologically or emotionally. Be wary of anyone who spends time separating you from friends or family. They are likely reducing your support system and making you more reliant on them. If your significant other has a habit of sharing too much information with friends, it makes it nearly impossible to be able to trust them with the most serious parts of ourselves. It might be something relatively innocent or the intent could be a little more sinister. Regardless, these types of red flags are often signs of difficulty ahead for us and our relationship.
The problem is, I don’t think that we take phrases like red flag as seriously as it can be. I don’t know about you, but I may have (allegedly) ignored a sign before. I may have (theoretically) seen a chain or yellow caution tape strung across an area and walked blithely into danger. Wet floor sign? Yup, I’ve jogged past it before.
Words contain power. If we are talking about grave situations or behavior, we need to give it an appropriate name. I propose thinking of these kinds of relationship behavior as radiation.
What happens when we are exposed to radiation? We get sick. The results are not immediately apparent. In the beginning, radiation damage is invisible just like bad behaviors we are talking about. The damage is cumulative. The more that we absorb, the sicker we get. The long-term effects of radiation are ghastly.
Think about it! If someone is constantly yelling at you, you start to anticipate it. This changes your behavior and your thoughts. Soon, your time is spent anticipating those bouts of yelling. The anxiety consumes more and more of your time. You get physical symptoms because of it. If it happens long enough, the damage can result in permanent changes to your health and shorten your life, just like radiation.
What are signs of our newly-described Psychological Radioactivity?
They engage in global criticism of you.
They blame all of their breakups on the other (crazy) person
They display cruelty to people
They can change their Mood/Attitude/Approach instantaneously
Lots of guilt trips
Demanding access to your private things (passwords, etc)
They make you feel stupid (deliberately).
This is not a definitive list, but it does cover several signs of radioactivity that we see in the office with clients.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you consider taking our new phase and adopting it when you are considering who will become your new mate. These behaviors are serious and often have long-term consequences. Use our new radioactive phrase to make yourself more mindful of these types of problems and get out from under them sooner rather than later.