Anxiety: Just in your head?
Is the anxiety legit or in your head?
Personality Disorders
Your stuff
Just personal experience
Do you have an anxiety disorder or are you just a nervous person? There is a very specific list of criteria related to having anything that is considered a disorder. Most of us know what it means to be nervous and to have those feelings of discomfort related to what’s going on in our head.
Being uncomfortable, getting that tight feeling in your chest, having racing thoughts and sweaty palms are all good indicators of being anxious but not necessarily a disorder. To be characterized as a disorder it must be have the four D’s: distressing, disabling, dysfunctional and disruptive. Yes, there are more criteria related to something being declared a mental/psychiatric disorder, but if you keep the four D’s in mind, it can allay some of those concerns you may have.
That being said, being an anxious or nervous person who is having trouble but is just shy of being able to be diagnosed with a disorder is no picnic. As we developed, we all accrued a lot of “stuff” (technical term) that caused us trouble and made it hard to move forward in ways that are unique to us. This might be your first job experience or how your first date went or even how that relationship ended.
Were you picked on a lot as a child? Did that translate into you being the tough one? Did you go the other way and avoid new people as a rule? We all have a slightly different result from the same ingredients. You might even have a combination where you are tough as nails when it comes to helping somebody who is in the hospital but are a nervous wreck at the thought of having to give a wedding toast.
We all have to deal with these periods of acute nervousness. The same techniques that help us with a chronic anxiety disorder can get us through those times when all we want to do is escape.
Trick #1: Breathing Right
Breathing correctly to reduce anxiety involves doing it deeply and slowly. I like a four count while breathing in and a 5 count on the exhale. The slower the better. This helps tell your body that you are not engaging those fight or flight instincts. You want to breathe from the diaphragm. This is also called belly breathing. When you are doing it correctly, your stomach inflates more than your chest. This helps pull that tension out of your chest and the rest of your body. It works everywhere and with everyone. It’s not a product of the mind, but a way of calming down the physiological systems. Remember, slow and steady.
Trick #2: Challenge your Anxious thoughts
You can learn to visualize what the most positive outcome is rather than focusing on the painful possibilities. We’ve all gotten into arguments with people in our head. This is us trying to prepare for something that we find unpleasant. How many of those arguments have actually occurred? I’m guessing not very many unless you seek them out. It’s a habit we develop to avoid painful moments. It can become a habit to focus on more relaxing things too. It sometimes just boils down to telling yourself “I am relaxed right now. There is no cause to be anxious.”
Trick #3: Know your triggers
If you know that your coworker is the cause of your anxiety, you can prepare yourself for dealing with it. The same is true of any other source of stress. By being aware of the trigger, you can develop a plan for when it occurs. For example: If I know that I don’t much care for loud noises or crowds, I won’t pick a concert as my first choice of an activity. But, if I end up needing to go because of an obligation, I will visualize myself succeeding and using my coping skills to prevent my anxiety from growing.
Trick #4: Paying attention to your body and mind
If you pay attention to these thoughts and the feelings in your body, you start to realize that they don’t really come out of nowhere. There is a building period where they get stronger and stronger unless we disrupt that pattern. Learning to recognize those cues and then apply the appropriate thing to stop them (such as trick 1 and 2.)
So, in short: Learn what makes you nervous. Then look for signs it’s happening in those moments. Start breathing to slow yourself down. Finally, pick those nagging doubts apart.